Life on a Crag...Weddings 2

Sorry about the other post, don't know what happened...anyway, I am talking about "Life on a Crag...if you read my first post you will learn what a "crag" is . I will attempt to write about various aspects of "life" that I have encountered over the years. My topic right now is weddings.

It is June, the beginning of the wedding season. I had a wedding yesterday, this morning as I was preparing the envelop to send the marriage license to Vital Statistics I wondered how many of these does that office receive between June and August? It was just a wonderment, I 'll probably never know the anwser to the question... not that I really want an answer anyway. Ok, I am babbling...

Weddings yes, that is what I am writing about. The next wedding that stands out in my mind is the one that kinda happened rather quickly...I don't remember all the details leading up to the day, but the day of is etchted in my mind...the Bride was rather tall and the Groom was much shorter. It is usually the other way around but not in this case. The town where the wedding was taking place was kind of "'red-neckish"...well ok, it was like red-neck city. Traditionally one can expect the bride to show up in a white/cream dress ... but not at this wedding... The bride with flaming red hair came around the corner in a crushed velvet rusty full lengther, wearing dock martins and carrying a bouquet of large bright yellow sunflowers. Truthfully I can't remember another thing about that wedding...I think I am still in shock.

I have had many weddings since those that I have written about, most of them have been quite normal, whatever that is supposed to mean. Nothing much stands out about the others until one that I just had a few months back. It was what I call an "eloption" I received a call in the morning around 10am that these people would be showing up for a wedding later in the day. I quickly told them all the things they needed to do...i.e. get a Marriage License and a few other things. I had no idea who was coming or how we were going to get the bride into the building etc. For some reason those things that takes others months to plan just worked themselves out. Why does this wedding stand out in my mind? All was going nicely until we got to the exchanging of the rings... given this was a quickly planned wedding, various family members were designated to get certain things ready. The Bride gave the job of getting the rings to her Father...first mistake, don't ask a man to remember numbers especially sizes! As I said, everything in the ceremony was going along nicely until the time came for the rings. The Groom did exactly as I told him, take the ring and put it on her finger, he pushed, and pushed, twisted and pushed some more, but try as he might this ring was NOT going to on her finger. She took over and pushed and twisted, and pushed and twisted, but again this ring was NOT going on her finger. At that point in time, I suggested we just move on and get his ring on his finger...how silly of me to suggest such a thing...one would think given all the weddings that I have been involved in that by now I would have it figured out that the wedding is ALL about the Bride...dauh...nope this ceremony was not continuing until that ring was on the finger of that Bride...she continued to push, to twist, when it wouldn't move she turned and started to yell at her Dad..."you got the wrong size! Why didn't you do what I told you, how could you get the wrong size!" I was ready for the rapture to take place. My attempts to tell her that we'll fix it tomorrow was totally ignored, until I grabbed her arm and said..."enough!" Through a few tears we finished the ceremony, got the register signed was about to announce them as "husband and wife" when the Bride started to cry again...this time in pain...somewhere between the other stuff and signing the book she mananged to get that itty bitty ring over her knuckle, it was now digging into her skin and her finger was swelling and turning blue because the blood circulation was being cut off. We were now launched into a complete new ceremony that I have never encountered at a wedding before...the job of getting that ring off that finger. Before I knew what was happening, someone was searching for some dental floss, someone else went to find some butter, someone else showed up with a bar of soap. The Bride sat down, the Groom held her hand up, thinking the blood would drain down her arm, and a host of other family members brought out their "sure-to-work" methods of ring removal. Nothing was successful, until the older brother said..." I have a pair of side-cutters in my truck."

Picture this...sitting at the front of the church is a new bride with a tea towel hanging out of her mouth, she is biting on the balled up end of it, Groom sitting on her lap holding her hand up in the air, family members hovering around like bees to honey, and big brother with a pair of pipe cutters in hand is attempting to cut this ring off his sister's finger, every time he got a grip on the gold, she would jerk her body and the Groom would yell..."keep still!" Within what seemed like hours the gold split, and was pried off her finger...smiles returned, pictures got taken and off they skipped into the great blue yonder to live happily ever after...

The most unusal place that I have ever performed a wedding was right here in Armstrong June 2007. No, the wedding at the top of the Ski Hill was not the place. This wedding happened at Home Plate in the middle of the Baseball field. This couple had met playing baseball, and decided that given all their friends were present at this particular tournament that this would be a good place to get married. So, they dressed me in an umpires uniform and with many looking on including various reporters we had a wedding. That wedding made the front page of the Local News Paper...pretty good coverage I think. The guest favors were personally signed base-balls. I had fun, lots of fun...

Yep, Life on a Crag can be fun, lots of fun if you just choose to look for it.

gotta run...